Tired of Yelling? Three Counter-Intuitive Communication Shifts That Make You a Better Personal Trainer
The difference between a capable personal trainer and an exceptional one often rests not on their depth of biomechanical knowledge, but on the seemingly simple skill of instructional language. It is widely assumed that effective cueing is simply about being clear and concise; we focus on finding the perfect phrase, yet many of us find our attempts at communication are frequently met with client confusion or recurring errors.
The critical question then becomes: If I use the best words, why isn't the client listening? I think that communication failure is not an issue of what you say, but an issue of how you interpret the response, requiring a fundamental change in three common coaching habits. Resolving this gap matters because the retention and efficacy of any training programme is wholly dependent on the quality of the client-coach relationship, which thrives only on effective, empathetic, and targeted instruction.
1. The Denied Assumption: It’s Not About What You Say
It seems almost natural for us to assume that the meaning of our instruction is in our own articulation: if I use the correct technical terms, the client should understand.
I think this assumption is part of the problem.
The Communication Shift: The Meaning of Your Communication is in the Response You Get
I find that we must deny the assumption that our words carry inherent meaning. If you cue a client to throw a straight punch ("rotate your hip!"), yet the punch finishes with a dropped elbow, the meaning of your cueing, for that client at that moment, was "drop your elbow."
This way of looking at instruction establishes the basic loop of effective coaching: if the instruction results in an undesired behaviour, the instruction itself was ineffective. The burden of understanding always rests on the sender, not the receiver. To achieve the intended movement, you must adjust the method of instruction until you get the physical response you want.
Your Actionable Strategy: Don't just repeat the same cue louder. If a verbal cue for a jab fails, switch modalities entirely until you achieve the desired response.
Visual Cue: "Imagine you're reaching out to press a buzzer that's just out of reach."
Tactile Cue: Lightly press their back foot and cue, "Push off this back foot to launch the power."
Analogy: "Think of your glove as a rubber band; stretch it, then snap it back to your face."
It may not even be the words but the tone, the speed, the body language, the position you were standing, or whatever. The physical response (the correct, tight punch and recovery) is your only confirmation that the message landed.
2. The Denied Assumption: Poor Behaviour Defines the Person
It is a common habit to internally label people based on frustrating behaviours. The prevailing assumption is that a person’s actions are rooted in a personal lack of motivation or commitment.
The Communication Shift: The Person is Not the Behaviour
I contend that these behaviours do not define the individual's identity or character; they are merely actions that serve a temporary purpose or result from external factors. By separating the person from the action, we maintain rapport and create the necessary psychological safety for the client to change.
Focusing feedback on the action rather than the identity preserves the client's self-worth and encourages a growth mindset. Instead of judging the person as "uncommitted," we judge the process (the action) as suboptimal.
Example 1: Dropping Guard
Avoid Labelling (Focuses on Identity): "You’re lazy, you keep dropping your guard."
Focus on the Action (Allows for Change): "The hand position is dropping, which leaves the chin vulnerable. Let’s keep the guard tight for protection."
Example 2: Stance Narrowing
Avoid Labelling (Focuses on Identity): "You’re terrible at keeping your stance wide."
Focus on the Action (Allows for Change): "To generate more power for the cross, the base of support needs to be wider. Let’s adjust the feet position."
This distinction allows us to critique performance without attacking the client's sense of self.
3. The Denied Assumption: Counter-Productive Actions Are Simply Wrong
When a client exhibits a detrimental behaviour, such as cutting corners during a skipping drill or leaning forward into their punches, the natural coaching response is to immediately correct or stop the action. The underlying assumption is that this behaviour is simply an error to be eliminated.
The Communication Shift: Every Behaviour Serves a Function
I suggest that no human behaviour is arbitrary; every action, even one that seems counter-productive to the programme, serves a function for the individual. Leaning forward into punches may function to get closer to the bag (seeking power) or feel safer (maintaining proximity). Cutting the skipping drill short may function to save energy or avoid cardiovascular discomfort.
To permanently change a negative habit, we must first understand the hidden function it is trying to fulfil. Only then can we replace it with a positive behaviour that serves the same underlying function more effectively and safely.
Application: Your client is continually dropping their hands after throwing combinations.
The Suspected Function: They are attempting to save energy for the high volume of punching (or their shoulders are fatigued, and the drop is a recovery action).
Reframed Instruction (Serving the Function): "I see you're dropping your hands to recover, which shows me you're pushing the pace, but that leaves you open. We want to be efficient! Let's focus on pulling the glove straight back to your cheek with speed. This uses less energy than letting the arm hang, and you’ll be covered for the counter-attack." You provide a more efficient, technique-driven way to achieve 'recovery' or 'safety.'
Anticipating Objections
Some trainers may object that applying these principles takes too much time in a fast-paced session. I acknowledge that diagnosing a function (Tip 3) takes a few seconds longer than simply shouting "stop!" However, the time spent now resolving the why of the behaviour drastically reduces the time spent in future sessions correcting the same recurring error. Furthermore, a deeper coach-client bond, which these methods foster, translates directly into higher client retention, justifying the initial investment of time.
